Bathroom Etiquette

I hate to visit an age old topic but who ever taught boys how to pee? I mean really- the standing, the shaking..WHAT?? Proper bathroom etiquette is sitting on the receptacle, doing your business, properly wiping, flushing and moving about your day!  I came to this realization as Mike and I are pretty open about our bathroom peeing! Too much info? LOL! But it mostly comes from that we talk so much that neither of us shuts up long enough to stop conversation to take a bathroom break. So the boy process is this: stand, start to go, spray in different directions, shake off the excess and flush. Where may I ask do boys think this "excess" shake goes?? Let me answer this for you boys: everywhere but where pee should be! Down the outside of the bowl, on the rug around the toilet, on the cabinet next to the toilet and god forbid a good shake could land on my toothbrush! Or your OWN toothbrush! I think my biggest problem with the whole thing is the shake! What would be wrong with getting a little square of toilet paper, dab the end and properly flush the "excess"? I mean have you EVER seen one of us girls just get up from the potty and SHAKE?   As the cleaner of the receptacle, the rug washer, and cabinet cleaner, I think this is the best solution to the age old debate! So rally around me ladies! Push the little square of toilet on your men and save yourselves a little "excess" cleaning! I'm just sayin.....

Who taught boys how to pee??  hmm... let's think.. our fathers who were taught by their fathers and originally I would guess God.  He did give us this "thing" we pee out of!  So your suggestion is to take a little square of toliet paper and dab??  Well FIRST of all, it would have to be a LARGE square of toliet paper. Woman- please never talk about anything small when discussing any topic that relates to that area!!  But really - how green of us is that?  I'm sorry that us men care about the enviroment and the needless killing of many beautiful trees... not to metion the cost of toliet paper - - OMG seriously!!  (another topic for another day).  Plus us men get surrounded by all sorts of girly things in the bathroom - cant we just stand and pee?  Keep some shred of manhood?  You asked if anyone has ever seen a woman stand and shake??  Why YES I have seen you stand and shake, when you decided to test this theory out- OMG that was funny!!  Looked like a Jazzercise routine gone WAY wrong!  Ok, seriously - what is the answer?  It certainly isn't the use of toliet paper. Perhaps we should be allowed to install urinals in our home bathrooms. We could shake all we want then! (well not too much, you know that old saying) or perhaps we can just sit and pee??  I guess that way I could catch up on some good magazines I haven't read. Or maybe we just stand, pee, shake, go about our day, and keep a little bit of our manhood!  I'm just sayin...